I don't know where I am going, but I am on my way...

Hey people,

Here is a story I want to share. Story of a battle between me and my ‘MIND’.

This is the story of my roommate. So, here it goes!

He thoroughly enjoyed my company and asked me if he could stay with me as my ‘roommate’. 

It was fun to live with him. 

He had some great thoughts and gradually I started relying on him for everything, In fact I started losing my identity. 

However, with the time he started dominating me. He would misread every situation and would give me unwanted advice. Surprisingly, I would listen to his non-sense without thinking about what I want. 

He started interfering in every aspect of my life, be it relationship or financial advice or my own identity! 

Worst thing was that he would NEVER cooperate. 

He had something to say about everything and everyone. Basically, I was not alone but with a chatterbox 24*7. 

The day I realized where I went wrong, I wanted to free myself from his negativity. I started observing his behavior and would sit quietly, watching him talking. 

Was it easy? 

No! But I was trying every day. 

I remember once my husband got a bit late from work, the few things my roommate had to say was: ‘Why is he is not picking up the call? Is he partying somewhere and ignoring your call? Does he really care about you? I hope everything is fine with him.’ 

Since I was alert enough to analyze what he was saying, I discarded his opinion. 

Latermy husband informed me that the subway was running late, and his phone was on silent mode. 

When my roommate started realizing that he was being watched, his behavior started changing. 

He started creating less chaos. 

Aha! It felt wonderful to get my kingdom back. I would not get lost in chatter and would observe him. Sometimes, I would ask him to keep quiet or go away. 

He still talks nonsense sometimes but, he is no more a chatterbox. He talks less and tries to be a good friend of mine. 

Best thing is that I have taken back control of my life. 

The roommate or ‘inner roommate’ is my mind. 

I observe him daily when I meditate. 

Since I have become conscious, I am able to recognize the negativity and change it to positive thoughts. I am happier, calmer and, more positive person now. 

Struggling for months to find out the easiest way to meditate, I could figure out few ways to start without getting overwhelmed.

  • Thoughts are cats: I imagine a blank screen in front of my closed eyes. I imagine my thoughts to be ‘Rats’. My aim is to catch as many rats as possible in the next 10 minutes. Sometimes, I forget that I have to catch them and I try to get along with them, but as soon as I remember, I start it again. 
  • 1 Minute tip: For a quick 1 minute meditation, I count 1 to 60 with my eyes closed, and observe how the numbers change from 1 to 60. I might get lost midway but again coming back is the trick.
  • What matters is ‘Now’: Sometimes, I sit for 5 minutes, and say ‘Now, Now’ with a pause in my mind. It reminds me of the current moment. For me, this method has worked it’s best. I even try to incorporate it while doing yoga.
  • Tik Tik counterI have bought a clock with ‘Tik- Tik’ voice. In the evening, I sit in the room with that clock. I just sit calmly and observe it’s sound. It’s important to realize that the sound isn’t bad or unpleasant for ears.
  • Mindful walk: I try to be mindful of my walking. Once in a day, while I am walking from one room to another, I just watch my steps. Though it’s not for a longer duration, but it cultivates the habit of mindfulness.
  • Imagine a real person:  When you sit for meditation, visualize your mind as a real person in front of you. Sit in silence watching him speak.  You don’t have to do anything expect watching him. With time, this practice will make you more concioous of your thoughts.

Most of the time, we think that our mind should be still in the first attempt only.

I have friends who said that they stopped meditating because they couldn’t keep their mind calm. But, if our mind is calm why would we need meditation? We don’t have be a yogi or a Buddhist to practice it. Let’s just be gentle with ourselves. Important is to be persistent. With time, we can definitely see a positive change in our life and choices. 

Happy meditating!

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