Detachment

Detachment

Hey people!

When I decided to write about Detachment, it took me a lot to decide what should be the cover image. I mean, I googled a lot but nothing made sense. And somehow I stumbled on this image, ‘FAITH’. Nothing could be more accurate as an image when it comes to detachment.

FAITH.

Before we go any further on this topic, I hope you have read my post (link) on codependency from where we got here. If not, I strongly suggest you to read about it before you go any further. It’s interesting, and will explain a lot about your day to day behavior and fear.

Now, before we dive into the world of understanding, let’s start with the opposite of ‘Detachment’ which is ‘Attachment’.  Attachment sounds lovely, it is mostly used in case of love, and care. However, when it comes to codependency, attachment is becoming overly involved, sometimes hopelessly entangled. According to Melody Beattie (Author of the book ‘Codependent No More’ from which the post is inspired), attachment can take many forms.

  • We may become excessively worried about, and preoccupied with, a problem or person (our mental energy is attached).
  • Or, we may graduate to becoming obsessed with and controlling the people and problems in our environment (our mental, physical, and emotional energy is directed at the object of our obsession).
  • We may become reactionaries, instead of acting authentically of our own volition (our mental, emotional, and physical energy is attached).
  • We may become emotionally dependent on the people around us (now we’re really attached).
  • We may become caretakers (rescuers, enablers) to the people around us (firmly attaching ourselves to their needs for us).

Does it sound healthy? Do you feel good about it? Even if it does not, we are afraid to let go because it feels safer to remain attached. It is a known zone. It gives the feeling that we are doing something. At least we’ve got something to do if we’re obsessing or controlling!!

However, detachment is all about letting go. It is based on the idea that each person is responsible for himself.

This further means that we can not solve problems that are not ours. And when things are not in our hands, worrying does not help either. Detachment also means that we allow others to take responsibility for their own lives, and we take care of ours. If people have created some disasters for themselves, we allow them to face their own proverbial music.

We allow people to be who they are. We give them the freedom to be responsible and to grow. And we give ourselves the same freedom. The concept also asks us to distinguish between what we can change and what we can’t.

Once we make the distinction, we stop trying to change things we can’t. I mean how can I change the habit of a drinking for an alcoholic if I am not the one who is doing it. We live our own lives to the best of our ability. If we cannot solve a problem and we have done what we could, we learn to live with, or in spite of, that problem. And we try to live happily focusing heroically on what is good in our lives today, and feeling grateful for that.

Attachment is the great fabricator of illusions; reality can be obtained only by someone who is detached. ~ Simone Weil

I know it might sound weird. How can we NOT do something for someone we care about? However, detaching does not mean we don’t care. It means we learn to love, care, and be involved WITHOUT going crazy. We stop creating all this chaos in our minds and environments.

When we are at a better place when it comes to mind, we make good decisions. The mind is now more open to looking for possible solutions. We become free to care and to love in ways that help others and don’t hurt ourselves.

Now, here comes the ‘HOW’ part? How do we detach? 

An old AA. and Al-Anon (Alcoholic Anonymous) saying suggests a three-part formula called ”HOW”: Honesty, Openness, and Willingness to try. With a little humility, surrender, and effort on your part, you take a step forward. It does not happen overnight, but slowly we start getting there. One may not do it perfectly, but no one has.

Below are some suggestions from the book to help us detach from people and our destructive reactions to them. These are only suggestions. There is no precise formula for detachment.

  • Learn to recognize when you’re reacting, when you are allowing someone or something to yank your strings.
  • Make yourself comfortable. When you recognize that you’re in the midst of a chaotic reaction, say or do as little as possible until you can restore your level of serenity and peace.
  • Examine what happened. If it’s a minor incident, you may be able to sort through it yourself. If the problem is serious, or is seriously upsetting you, you may want to discuss it with a friend to help clear your thoughts and emotions. Talk about your feelings. Take responsibility for them. Feel whatever feeling you have.
  • Figure out what you need to do to take care of yourself. Make your decisions based on reality, and make them from a peaceful state. Do you need to apologize? Do you want to let it go? Do you need to have a heart-to-heart talk with someone? Do you need to make some other decision to take care of yourself?
  • Meditate. Here is the secret. Melody Beattie, by the end of the book explains a lot on how meditation can help get rid of codependency. In fact, she has written a meditation script for codependency. So, why to wait, you can start to meditate anytime!

Detachment is not easy. You try it several times, and might fail for every many time. We are so used to control the things around that we don’t realize that control is an illusion. It blocks other person’s growth. It stops things from happening naturally. Many people might say that that ‘you don’t understand my situation. I can’t detach!’ And that’s whey you need to detach more. Melody says that in her case, though she was trying hard to detach, many times she would fail. That’s when somehow she came across the root cause of codependency. That is when she came across Karpman Drama Triangle. This was her pattern. This is the pattern of most of the codependents. I will cover more about this Drama Triangle in the next post.

Meanwhile, take care. And when I say ‘take care’, it involves taking care of yourself instead of taking care of others who might not need it!

Xoxo,

Ankita

How to forgive? (or not!)

How to forgive? (or not!)

Hey peeps!

After new year’s eve, a video resurfaced where-in Pope Francis was greeting the crowd of pilgrims and children. The crowd looked excited, and everyone wanted to shake hands with THE POPE. Suddenly, a woman grabbed his hand. While he tried to move on, the lady pulled him back, and kept saying something. The ‘not-so-gentle’ pull annoyed Pope, and in frustration he slapped her hand and moved on (Video Link).

Do you expect something like this from a Pope? I know, I know, many of you would be surprised to know about Pope’s behavior because isn’t he the one who teaches the world about kindness, compassion?

And when it was time to practice what he preached, he contradicted his teaching!! Oh man!

However, I know there would be different set of people who would see pope as a ‘human being’, a person who in spite of his wisdom and teachings makes mistakes. And there comes real compassion (Pope later issued a public apology for the same).

“The act of forgiveness takes place in our own mind. It really has nothing to do with the other person.”Louise Hay

Now, what if you aren’t like a pope (which you surely are not!), and don’t forgive (which includes forgiving ourselves too) easily? I see your hands raised up! And you can count me in too!

I don’t forgive easily. I love to hold grudges, and decorate it in my grudge cabinet. Like talk to me about my boss from previous company, and I would pick one grudge from my cabinet, and would tell you thousand reasons for why I still hate her.

There are many articles I have read which talks about how good it is to forgive, and move on. They say that it can pretty much offload too much of weight from your shoulders, and I whole-heartedly agree to this.

While I have been successful in forgiving many annoying events and people in my life, there are still many events which are stuck, like a lump in my throat, and doesn’t matter how much I try to spit it out, it’s still there! A little part of me does not want to forgive! Forgiveness feels impossible in many cases. Are we in the same boat, mate? Cheers!

Days ago I was listening to a podcast by Tara Brach, and she said that when we are consciously or unconsciously, not able to forgive, it means we are holding onto a thought, or trauma just so that we can unconsciously protect ourselves from experiencing that pain again.

It simply means that we are yet not ready! Our body knows better. Over years I have learnt that healing is not linear. It takes times to heal wounds, and it take seasons to lighten the scars.

Same goes with forgiveness. It needs patience and love. A little part of our body needs us, and our inner child wants to hear that, ‘It’s okay if you can’t forgive now. We will keep doing it, and someday we will be successful.’  And I have noticed that it releases some blocked energy. I mean, it really works, even if you are not that ‘into’ your body to notice it.This simple ritual says that it’s good if we do not judge ourselves.

You see I can say to myself, ‘All the spiritual talks you talk, books you read is bullshit. You haven’t learned anything if you can’t forgive! You definitely need a spiritual retreat once again!’

“Be the one who nurtures and builds. Be the one who has an understanding and a forgiving heart one who looks for the best in people. Leave people better than you found them.” ~ Marvin J. Ashton

Come On! It don’t need anything external to validate myself. A little love, and self-compassion is what I need. Therefore, here I am ‘Forgiving myself for not forgiving’.

Once I tried to dive deeper into finding the reason about ‘why can’t I forgive’, and I found an underlying fear that if I forgive, someone ‘else’ will do it again. It’s like creating an imaginary shield in my mind. But the truth is whether we forgive or not, it has nothing to do with other person’s behavior. People do what they want to do. They rarely think from other’s perspective, simply because they can’t.

We can not control how others see the world, but then we can define our boundaries.The fact is, we do have a choice, though we are not aware of it most of the times.

I mean I HAD a choice when my manager talked rudely to me, and the choice was to respond though calmly yet assertively, and it could have led me to the situation where I had one ‘less’ grudge in my grudge cabinet.

As soon as we decide that we won’t tolerate ‘something’, there comes the power, and a plan on how we can do it. (I am still defining my boundaries, so count me in here too, mate!). And I am learning this slowly.

Over the years, number of self-help books have taught me that ‘how a person behaves’ has nothing to do with ‘me’, it’s all about his past life, his piled up stories, his griefs and insecurities. While it still causes irritation to think that ‘why I am being treated badly for what he/she has experienced‘, it actually helps to calm down a little bit, and let go of the anger. (Pic on right: Just to fill the page. Lol).

It reminds me of one of my annoying managers in India. Every time he would shout at one of the team members, we would joke, ‘Aaaj fir biwi se lad kar aaya hoga.‘ (He sure would have fought with his wife today again.), and this would cheer our mood.

Final thought: Every action which is inspired by ‘Love for ourselves‘ is bound to heal us. And while we stress enough on giving love to others, showering the world with kindness and compassion, the first person who deserves our is ourselves. While we all strive to be perfect, just accepting ourselves as we are now, and at the same time working towards healing, is incredibly powerful.

I hope we all learn to have faith in ourselves, and our unimaginable healing power.

I hope we remember to ‘Forgive ourselves for not forgiving others’.

Love and big hug,

Ankita

My 10 days Vipassana meditation experience

My 10 days Vipassana meditation experience

Hiee people,

What will be your reply if someone asks you about your most memorable memory of life?

Hands down, for me it would be my 10 days Vipassana retreat experience. If you are into reading self-help and spiritual books, a little dig into the pages and everywhere you can read about ‘being grateful’ for little things.

Eckhart Tolle says, “Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance.” 

However, I could never connect to this feeling. I tried hard to feel grateful, but the miseries would hit my mind saying, ‘Duh! It’s fake! Isin’t it?’ And I would get back to my real world. My world which was full of pain, problems and mental agonies. But Vipassana helped me to see ‘MORE’, to be thankful to my body if not for anything else, for it exits and re-creates itself every moment to help me see everyone and everything I love!

It allowed me to understand that beyond my so called ‘miserable’ life situation, there is ‘LIFE’, which is primary, which is already whole, complete and perfect.

I guess its complicated to put it in words about how I felt, I would still give it a try to put down my day to day feelings about my stay.

So, here you go!!

  • Day 0: Husband and I left home at 3:30 in the evening as we had to reach the center before 5 pm and it was about an hour drive. 15 minutes remaining for the destination and suddenly we started moving on the roads surrounded by hills and big bamboo trees on both the sides. Who knew there would be a different world of awareness in between those woods hiding from our eyes! Once we signed in and got into our respective rooms (which was separate for men and women), we gathered in the dining hall where we did some formalities and met our course manager. Husband and I talked for the last time before 10 days silence and gave confidence to each other that we WOULD stay and complete the course. An hour later we gathered in the meditation hall where we met our respective Assistant Teachers. I had a blurred vision of my husband in that dim light standing at one corner on other side. First instruction for meditation was given and we went to sleep at 9:00 pm. (Do you see the gong in the picture?)
  • Day 1: The gong at 4:00 am reminded me of my school times. I was so excited to start the course that it didn’t take me time to get up. 4:30 am and I was in the meditation hall. Yuppie!! But then who knew that it would be a roller coaster ride! Two hours passed like two days as my mind couldn’t concentrate on breathing. 6:30 am to 8:00 am was breakfast time. And that we meditated again till 11:00 am. I could feel the anxiety now as my thoughts where dancing boogie-woogie on the floor of my mind. ‘I am screwed up!’. While eating lunch at 11:00 am, I felt like breaking the boundaries and run. ‘But then everyone around is eating silently!  Looks like I am an alien to this world. Phew!’  The next meditation spree started at 1:00 pm and continued till 5:00. Now I was super exhausted, more because of my mind. I remember my mind singing a bollywood song ‘kithe chali hai morni banke’ on a repeat mode. 😛 5:00 to 6:00 pm was snack/ dinner and tea time. At 6:00 we came back for another round of meditation and everyday’s Discourse (final thoughts) by Goenka ji (teacher who started this technique in India) where her would talk about next day schedule. I somehow managed to sit till 9:00 pm. Knowing that husband was there going through same mental chaos as mine gave me some relief and strength. My mind was super active with negative thoughts on bed, and I don’t remember when did I sleep.
  • Day 2: I had slept just for 4 hours and didn’t realize I have taken a good nap in the hall during morning meditation. ‘What am I doing? I am not here to sleep!’  Throughout the day I kept fighting with my sleep cycle though the mind was less chaotic, and I was able to sleep peacefully at 10:00 am. Strangely, I have started noticing my body sensations too.
  • Day 3: Day 3 was even better and it felt like I was enjoying the process. I was trying hard to find a way to know if my husband was doing okay. I was worried, ‘What if he runs away?’ Lol. The feeling of calmness was there throughout the day. With fewer naps than yesterday I managed to meditate almost 11 hours! I was happy I came here! Yaaay!!
        • Day 4: It started with the same routine but we would be getting actual meditation technique in the afternoon at 3:00 pm. The teacher said that for the last 3 days we were sharpening our mind AND attention to do Vipassana in a better way. However, I experienced something magical at 11:00 am. I was concentrating on my breath when my right hand started vibrating. It was very intense. I could feel it for 5-6 seconds and then it was gone. ‘What happened just now? It is said that we are made up of frequencies. Did I just experience that?‘ My teacher had an answer to it: ‘Observe it.’  My mind was like, ‘That’s it? Okay!’ In the afternoon we were given Vipassana technique.
      • Day 5: It was just half day that I had been practicing Vipassana, and I could feel my body getting heated up. My chest area, belly and pelvic area, hands, thighs, every part was burning.  But the technique said that we had to observe our sensations! Lol. Okay. By 7 pm my body was a coal mine. The heat made me feel like I would vomit and cry. Did I say that we were not allowed to move our body too. Ouch! Eckhart Tolle says that ‘every emotional pain we experience leaves behind a residue of pain which lives on in our body in dormant state. The moment you observe it with your presence, the identification is broken.’ (‘Read Power of NOW.)  I could relate. I guess I was holding too much of anger. While returning back to my room at 9:00 pm I noticed that I had a back pain 3 years ago (which I thought was gone) had resurfaced! Day 5 ended as a painful day. Though I was still going strong! 
       

      • Day 6: I expected that my morning would begin with same heat in my body, but it was different. The heat had subsided a little. It had now localized to some areas and was less intense. ‘When you become a watcher, pain-body or negative energy will continue to operate for a while. Since it has certain momentum, it would keep turning for a while and may create physical aches and pains. Be present. It will go away- Eckhart Tolle’. Now I could relate to what I had read in his book. By afternoon, many other body parts started paining again. When I asked my teacher about it, she had same answer for every question I had, ‘Observe it’.  Urgh!
      • Day 7: Oh! My teacher was so true! The shoulder pain got less intense! However, my whole body was sore. Day went by and I kept meditating. But at 9:00 pm when I went to bed I had some weird experience. I was trying to sleep observing my sensations when I felt a sudden surge of energy. It felt like there was a part in my body (lung area) where there was no blood flow for many years, and suddenly energy started flowing there after ages. I felt good for sometime, but as soon as the mind got into action, the sudden flow of energy made me scared. I suddenly switched on the light out of fear. ‘What was that? Something supernatural? I want to run. Should I bang manager’s door? Is there a way to escape?’ I was scared, scared of the experience, scared to quietness, scared of myself. The whole hostel was quiet. It felt like it was just me and my mind screaming and daunting. ‘I am not meditating for remaining 3 days. I will just walk in the woods, and stay in the room. God! Please help me.’

      • Day 8: I skipped morning meditation at 4:30 am but then there was this breakfast thing at 6:30 am. The morning felt a bit lighter and better. The mood made me go to the meditation hall once again. ‘Oh! Today is not as bad as expected!’. Accepting all my negative thoughts and emotions, I kept meditating. However, today I took more breaks, walked in woods, soaked the sun and drank the wind. I guess that’s what they mean to say when they say that nature heals. The environment made me calm, and I geared up to start my practice again. I was back on the mat and realized being much lighter. The body was still heated and soared but it was less painful as compared to day 5. My back pain too was almost gone, and it felt like I had released some weight I was carrying on my shoulders. 
      • Day 9: There were so many  ‘Go to home’, and ‘Stay here’ moments. The feeling continued throughout the day. One hour I was miserable and another hour, I was Okay. But then somewhere I knew, ‘I can’t do this anymore’. It was good that course was coming to an end else I would have a mental breakdown.
      • Day 10: Hurrah! We could talk today! Just after morning meditation session from 8-9 am, we were allowed to talk to each other. Everyone started chatting like anything! But I was still in the mood of quietness. I took my lunch plate and sat in the corner alone without talking to anyone. Suddenly a  girl passed by and said, ‘Looks like you still want to enjoy the serenity’. ‘Yes, I am just sinking in the feeling’.Please go! I don’t want to extend the communication’, my mind said. Few minutes of conversation with my husband in the dining area, and I felt like pouring my heart and crying. Any ways, we had to maintain the separation of men and women till day 11 when the course was about the end. I couldn’t sleep at night. There was a mixed feeling. I wanted to go/I wanted to stay. But the fact is that this experience was life changing. I thanked everyone around mentally for being a part of this thrilling experience and slept peacefully.
      • Day 11: We all gathered in the meditation hall in the morning. The final lecture with Goenka ji, and I bowed down in front of meditation hall for everything it had given me in last few days. I now knew I was tough. I now knew I could endure pain with a happy face. There was a feeling of exaltation and heightened awareness, as if something within me said, ‘This too shall pass. Stay present! Enjoy till it lasts!’ Funny enough, my 3 years of meditation experience was nothing as compared to what I had experienced in these 10 days, and still it was just the beginning. And I owed everything to this place! 

      I remember leaving my room with my bag when I saw two girls standing outside. We smiled looking at each other and suddenly I said, ‘Thank you guys for being a wonderful companion in my 10 days journey. I hope to see you all soon.’ And this time I really felt grateful saying this!

      As I listened to my inner voice, it whispered, ‘Dhamma Torana ! I will be back again! ‘

      Much love and peace on your ways…

      Ankita

      Quick meditation tip for beginners!

      Quick meditation tip for beginners!

      Hey people,

      Here is a story I want to share. Story of a battle between me and my ‘MIND’.

      This is the story of my roommate. So, here it goes!

      He thoroughly enjoyed my company and asked me if he could stay with me as my ‘roommate’. 

      It was fun to live with him. 

      He had some great thoughts and gradually I started relying on him for everything, In fact I started losing my identity. 

      However, with the time he started dominating me. He would misread every situation and would give me unwanted advice. Surprisingly, I would listen to his non-sense without thinking about what I want. 

      He started interfering in every aspect of my life, be it relationship or financial advice or my own identity! 

      Worst thing was that he would NEVER cooperate. 

      He had something to say about everything and everyone. Basically, I was not alone but with a chatterbox 24*7. 

      The day I realized where I went wrong, I wanted to free myself from his negativity. I started observing his behavior and would sit quietly, watching him talking. 

      Was it easy? 

      No! But I was trying every day. 

      I remember once my husband got a bit late from work, the few things my roommate had to say was: ‘Why is he is not picking up the call? Is he partying somewhere and ignoring your call? Does he really care about you? I hope everything is fine with him.’ 

      Since I was alert enough to analyze what he was saying, I discarded his opinion. 

      Latermy husband informed me that the subway was running late, and his phone was on silent mode. 

      When my roommate started realizing that he was being watched, his behavior started changing. 

      He started creating less chaos. 

      Aha! It felt wonderful to get my kingdom back. I would not get lost in chatter and would observe him. Sometimes, I would ask him to keep quiet or go away. 

      He still talks nonsense sometimes but, he is no more a chatterbox. He talks less and tries to be a good friend of mine. 

      Best thing is that I have taken back control of my life. 

      The roommate or ‘inner roommate’ is my mind. 

      I observe him daily when I meditate. 

      Since I have become conscious, I am able to recognize the negativity and change it to positive thoughts. I am happier, calmer and, more positive person now. 

      Struggling for months to find out the easiest way to meditate, I could figure out few ways to start without getting overwhelmed.

      • Thoughts are cats: I imagine a blank screen in front of my closed eyes. I imagine my thoughts to be ‘Rats’. My aim is to catch as many rats as possible in the next 10 minutes. Sometimes, I forget that I have to catch them and I try to get along with them, but as soon as I remember, I start it again. 
      • 1 Minute tip: For a quick 1 minute meditation, I count 1 to 60 with my eyes closed, and observe how the numbers change from 1 to 60. I might get lost midway but again coming back is the trick.
      • What matters is ‘Now’: Sometimes, I sit for 5 minutes, and say ‘Now, Now’ with a pause in my mind. It reminds me of the current moment. For me, this method has worked it’s best. I even try to incorporate it while doing yoga.
      • Tik Tik counterI have bought a clock with ‘Tik- Tik’ voice. In the evening, I sit in the room with that clock. I just sit calmly and observe it’s sound. It’s important to realize that the sound isn’t bad or unpleasant for ears.
      • Mindful walk: I try to be mindful of my walking. Once in a day, while I am walking from one room to another, I just watch my steps. Though it’s not for a longer duration, but it cultivates the habit of mindfulness.
      • Imagine a real person:  When you sit for meditation, visualize your mind as a real person in front of you. Sit in silence watching him speak.  You don’t have to do anything expect watching him. With time, this practice will make you more concioous of your thoughts.

      Most of the time, we think that our mind should be still in the first attempt only.

      I have friends who said that they stopped meditating because they couldn’t keep their mind calm. But, if our mind is calm why would we need meditation? We don’t have be a yogi or a Buddhist to practice it. Let’s just be gentle with ourselves. Important is to be persistent. With time, we can definitely see a positive change in our life and choices. 

      Happy meditating!

      How I connected back to my soul…..

      How I connected back to my soul…..

      Years ago, I came across an article which talked about soul satisfaction. The writer had experienced how using meditation, she connected back to her soul.  It was like a homecoming for her.

      Just a brief overview and I was eager enough to scroll. ‘Soul connection!’ -it sounded to be an alien term to me.

      It can happen only to sages and saints. No! It’s not for you, for me, it’s their world!

      It’s not that I did not believe in God, but I never had time to connect to the Universe. For me, God was only there when I had to crib and I needed someone to blame. ‘You don’t love me eh? I did not get this job? Why? Why are my things not getting sorted?’

      I turned blind to all the good things and would curse my destiny for all the bad things happening.

      I was not living my life, rather crawling through it.

      I remember, someone once told me about a miraculous story of how she got a job. I made fun of him showing in all the logics and calculations behind his success. Miracles do not happen, not on this earth at least!

      In short, I was someone who believed that I am here to live forever, old people have always been old, you can exploit your body for whatever reason you can and it would say nothing, and you are here on this planet to work, get married, have kids, get them married and die!

      Life changed after I miscarried. Not everything looked the same!

      Losing the first child was bad. Also, it did not fit my sequence of marrying and having kids. There was physical trauma, and a mental one too though I did not realize it then.

      Weeks later after my appointment with my doctor, I was heartbroken only to know that my baby had a heartbeat. I felt like a part of me was lost. The thought that it was more than a flesh hit me hard.

      I restlessly looked for some relief, for an answer to my questions!

      Why did this happen to me?

      Is there something more beyond this life?

      Can things change so suddenly for anyone? My friends still have the same happy life though!

      If the sequence of my life is not the one, I thought of or not the one everyone does, why am I here?

      While everyone in my friend circle was planning for kids, switching jobs, and having fun, I was trying to solve the puzzle of life.

      I still remember the day; I closed my eyes for praying. This time, it was different. It was not to curse the universe, not to ask something from God, and not to lure him by saying, ‘I will do this if you give me this.’

      I just kept quiet.

      I got a strong surge of emotions. It was different, it was divine. The flow of energy I had never experienced before! There were emotions I wanted to vent out but beneath it was something very calming, very peaceful. 

      Those few moments of calmness were enough to understand what a soul connection meant. Those moments of stability had an unsaid communication with me saying, ‘Things are Okay. You will be fine. Everything will be fine’. I started looking for more of those moments. It was like something I had never experienced before. Though it did not have answers to all my questions, it gave me something I craved for.

      There I started learning more about meditation. With 3 months of continuous practice, I could understand what is meant by ‘Homecoming’.

      A calmer mind would give all the space to question my existence. With time, I learnt about how powerful prayers could be. I was widening my spiritual dimensions by meditation, prayers, reading books, writing.

      There was more to life than to just run for a 9-5 job, have kids, and die! I learnt that everything which makes you feel lively is like a soul food. And we are here to see colours of life, learn from the mistakes, awaken our buried creativity and make the best of what life has to offer!

      I do not regret my past, I do not regret not knowing what life was about, for whatever happened paved the way for where I am, and I am really proud that I am moving, and growing.

      I believe we all need to broaden our spiritual dimension to feel alive!Many of us do it unknowingly, they do everything they love which keeps them alive and glowing.

      But there are a certain set of people like me who was busy sorting out life and fixing its problem, and such people need a soul connection.

      While there are ways to awaken yourself, it’s important to recognize what works for you. ‘Listening to music’, ‘Reading books’, ‘Walking in Nature’, ‘Dancing’- it can be anything.

      Following are the things you can try:

      • Sitting in the park or outside for 10 minutes while listening to birds chirping.
      • Sitting idle in a chair or bed for a few minutes, and thinking about all the beautiful memories of past starting from childhood.
      • Dedicating a couple of minutes to do what you love. It can be as small as reading a book or gardening.
      • Praying for 10 minutes while connecting to the universe.
      • Taking out some time in the evening with your favorite coffee while watching the clouds moving.

      While these are the things which have worked for me, you can definitely find something better, more natural to you. But the bottom line remains the same.

      Connecting back to ourselves is like charging our battery, it is important to charge it before the light gets so dim that we get misguided by the puzzles of life!