Hey people,

Here are some relationship gossips for you, in case you are looking for some love, and excitement amidst this chaos. (And of course if you are unmarried. ;))

Today I will share my story of love. <3

Almost eight years ago, when I started looking for alliance, I registered myself on a Matrimonial website. It came as a shock to my relatives. My family (read relatives) went crazy when they heard that I did that. I mean who does that! At least no one in my close family, and extended family went ahead to search for a groom in virtual world!

But I was a rebel, you see!

When I registered myself there, they asked for certain details for the groom I wanted. It took me days to list down what I wanted in my future husband..Hmmm…let’s create an imaginary, perfect, customized piece for myself! And my mind started molding ‘man of my dreams!‘ And, here you go my heart!

He should be have this kind of education and occupation.

He should be funny and witty.

He should be this much tall, and earn this much.

He should be from this state, and should eat this, not this.

And the list continued.

Once you stop looking for what you want, you find what you need- Anonymous  

While my list kept adding on and on, so did my search. Almost 2 years passed and I was still searching for a groom for myself. The relatives started gossiping, and my parents started freaking out.

Looks like she is going to remain unmarried. I told her, it’s not easy to search for guys online.

Told you to get married to that guy Aunt suggested! He was from a decent family!

Every other day was there was war of words between me, and my parents. In between all this, I felt like sharing my frustration to one of my close friends who had married very recently. In particular, she was a bit private about her relationship, but I am thankful that she shared her experience. And her words came like the signal from universe! Her’s was a love marriage. And her story in her words:

“I never wanted to get married. I had grown up seeing an abusive relationship between my parents. Therefore, I didn’t have any faith in this institution called ‘Marriage’.

My run away from personal issues was my dance class. Slowly, I started teaching there. There was always a safe distance between the me and the guys there. One reason was because they were my students, and second was because I didn’t want to get affectionate to any of the guys.

Remember! I had swore that I wouldn’t get hitched!

However, I noticed a guy who kept enrolling in my classes. He would stay late for more time with me. While I resisted his company in the beginning, very soon we bonded well. And the friendship turned into love very soon.

That former military man is ‘MY’ man now. It’s been five years we have been happily married.”

And she concluded her love story by suggesting me to ‘let go’ of parameters. At least I could loosen them!

I took this as a signal of the universe, and changed my search settings for guys. Now I was open to experiences, and was ready to meet different kind of guys. Very soon, I got request from a guy from Kolkata (India). We met at the airport.

Just thirty minutes of our conversation, and we knew that we would blend perfectly. And that’s how I met my ‘Man of dreams!’

I was looking for a guy from my state, or someone from north side, and my husband was from eastern India. We never matched until I removed certain words like ‘never‘, ‘must‘ from my dictionary.

Today, husband and I have been married for almost six years, and ignoring the ups and downs, our life is full of blessings, fun and laughter. I know I couldn’t get anyone better than him. He sometimes speaks Bengali. While I don’t understand what he speaks, I just laugh listening to him. And that’s how I know I really love him because I don’t care about his language, I can read his eyes!

I wish ‘Love and relationship’ would be an easy topic to discuss on.

I wish there would have been a set of parameters for creating a happy relationship.

I wish we could shop for a ‘perfect’ partner just as we shop for a ‘perfect’ toy.

But unfortunately, it’s not!

But the good news is that Love is not entirely unknowable!

Of course, we can’t reveal all the mysteries of a healthy relationship, but then wouldn’t it be a little less fun! Because there is nothing to improve from something ‘perfect‘, something ‘imperfect‘ and mysterious makes us strive for something better, and increase our chances of creating, a happier and fulfilling relationship.

It happens all the time. I mean, just look around! People wind up with someone who pushes them outside their box of preconceived notion. And they are happy! Unplanned path leads to beautiful destination, almost always! I am sure you have heard about the word, ‘Something clicked.’ It simply means you let go of yourself, and allow the universe to show it’s magic.

‘Never say NEVER’.

Go ahead and tell the universe that you are open to all the experiences, and love miracles. Keep looking with an open heart. You might meet a cat-loving, vegan, insane looking guy/girl who never travelled abroad. But you won’t mind.

You will be in love!

Love and more love to you…

Ankita

Soul