How I connected back to my soul…..

Years ago, I came across an article which talked about soul satisfaction. The writer had experienced how using meditation, she connected back to her soul.  It was like a homecoming for her.

Just a brief overview and I was eager enough to scroll. ‘Soul connection!’ -it sounded to be an alien term to me.

It can happen only to sages and saints. No! It’s not for you, for me, it’s their world!

It’s not that I did not believe in God, but I never had time to connect to the Universe. For me, God was only there when I had to crib and I needed someone to blame. ‘You don’t love me eh? I did not get this job? Why? Why are my things not getting sorted?’

I turned blind to all the good things and would curse my destiny for all the bad things happening.

I was not living my life, rather crawling through it.

I remember, someone once told me about a miraculous story of how she got a job. I made fun of him showing in all the logics and calculations behind his success. Miracles do not happen, not on this earth at least!

In short, I was someone who believed that I am here to live forever, old people have always been old, you can exploit your body for whatever reason you can and it would say nothing, and you are here on this planet to work, get married, have kids, get them married and die!

Life changed after I miscarried. Not everything looked the same!

Losing the first child was bad. Also, it did not fit my sequence of marrying and having kids. There was physical trauma, and a mental one too though I did not realize it then.

Weeks later after my appointment with my doctor, I was heartbroken only to know that my baby had a heartbeat. I felt like a part of me was lost. The thought that it was more than a flesh hit me hard.

I restlessly looked for some relief, for an answer to my questions!

Why did this happen to me?

Is there something more beyond this life?

Can things change so suddenly for anyone? My friends still have the same happy life though!

If the sequence of my life is not the one, I thought of or not the one everyone does, why am I here?

While everyone in my friend circle was planning for kids, switching jobs, and having fun, I was trying to solve the puzzle of life.

I still remember the day; I closed my eyes for praying. This time, it was different. It was not to curse the universe, not to ask something from God, and not to lure him by saying, ‘I will do this if you give me this.’

I just kept quiet.

I got a strong surge of emotions. It was different, it was divine. The flow of energy I had never experienced before! There were emotions I wanted to vent out but beneath it was something very calming, very peaceful.

Those few moments of calmness were enough to understand what a soul connection meant. Those moments of stability had an unsaid communication with me saying, ‘Things are Okay. You will be fine. Everything will be fine’. I started looking for more of those moments. It was like something I had never experienced before. Though it did not have answers to all my questions, it gave me something I craved for.

There I started learning more about meditation. With 3 months of continuous practice, I could understand what is meant by ‘Homecoming’.

A calmer mind would give all the space to question my existence. With time, I learnt about how powerful prayers could be. I was widening my spiritual dimensions by meditation, prayers, reading books, writing.

There was more to life than to just run for a 9-5 job, have kids, and die! I learnt that everything which makes you feel lively is like a soul food. And we are here to see colours of life, learn from the mistakes, awaken our buried creativity and make the best of what life has to offer!

I do not regret my past, I do not regret not knowing what life was about, for whatever happened paved the way for where I am, and I am really proud that I am moving, and growing.

I believe we all need to broaden our spiritual dimension to feel alive!Many of us do it unknowingly, they do everything they love which keeps them alive and glowing.

But there are a certain set of people like me who was busy sorting out life and fixing its problem, and such people need a soul connection.

While there are ways to awaken yourself, it’s important to recognize what works for you. ‘Listening to music’, ‘Reading books’, ‘Walking in Nature’, ‘Dancing’- it can be anything.

Following are the things you can try:

• Sitting in the park or outside for 10 minutes while listening to birds chirping.
• Sitting idle in a chair or bed for a few minutes, and thinking about all the beautiful memories of past starting from childhood.
• Dedicating a couple of minutes to do what you love. It can be as small as reading a book or gardening.
• Praying for 10 minutes while connecting to the universe.
• Taking out some time in the evening with your favorite coffee while watching the clouds moving.

While these are the things which have worked for me, you can definitely find something better, more natural to you. But the bottom line remains the same.

Connecting back to ourselves is like charging our battery, it is important to charge it before the light gets so dim that we get misguided by the puzzles of life!